InYo: Journal of Alternative Perspectives Mar 2001
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Choosing a Martial Art: The Parable of the Bus

By Kim Taylor

Copyright © EJMAS 2001. All rights reserved.

People often ask me what I think of this "new and improved" martial art or that. I reply with my "Parable of the Bus."

It seems that a certain 16-year-old wished to go to see his girlfriend because said girlfriend had promised him sex. Now this fellow didnít know what sex was, since heíd never experienced it, but he had heard that it was a "cool thing" and therefore wanted some. Unfortunately, the girlfriend lived across town and as a result he couldnít get any.

Well, our enterprising young fellow watched quite a bit of television. And on the tube he saw commercials for automobile dealerships wherein it was promised that their vehicles would quickly and easily transport you from Point A to Point B. What was more, you would be "cool."

So down our young lad went to the car lot.

He saw a lot of flashy cars and picked a nice red sporty-looking one that was said to go very fast. (Thinking about the girlfriend, he declared he wanted to go fast and in style.) So in he hopped along with the salesman and off they sped.

Well, around the block a couple of times and right back where he started. This was a big disappointment, but the boy thought again about the girlfriend and her promise, so into another car he hopped and off they sped again. And as far as I know, the youngster is still there speeding around in flashy cars, but sadly, no closer to the girlfriend.

Now, as it happened, the girlfriend wasnít all that faithful or particular and so she called up another 16-year old fellow and promised him sex.

This fellow watched television, too, but wasnít all that sure that commercials always delivered what they promised. Being slightly above average in intelligence, and a bit of a rebel to his generation, he went and asked his old man what he should do. The old fellow, having been around the block a couple times himself, suggested the kid take some of his pocket change and get on the bus.

So the kid hopped on the dingy, smelly, definitely uncool old bus which rattled and clanked and crept along with a change of driver or two until it finally coughed the kid out in front of the girlfriendís house. I dunno if he had sex or not (gentlemen donít ask and donít tell), but I did notice that he stopped asking questions about it and now keeps bus fare in his pants pocket.

Heís also occasionally been heard to say to his closer friends: "Get on the bus!"

InYo Mar 2001