| Physical Training Nov 2003 |
Sadness covered my
smile for a while,
I see a man and
a woman playing with their child,
there is laughter
around them,
its Thanks giving,
its Christmas, its New Year
its the first day
to school, its graduation day
Same, yet, different,
I know, not like
YOU & YOU, different in every sense
Different perception,
different wants, different needs
Different! Why am
I different? from YOU & YOU
I have two
eyes, a nose, a month, two arms, two hands,
two legs, a heart,
a mind, and a soul,
all the same as
YOU & YOU.
Yet, why do I acclaim
that I am different, than YOU & YOU
maybe because, I
am a bit eccentric, like Dali, a scientist like Leonardo da Vinci,
a poet like Shakespeare,
a psychic like Nostradamus
YES, NO
Yet, the question
still stays
I AM different
I AM different
Is it my choice,
maybe?
Is it genetics,
maybe?
Is it circumstances,
maybe?
Is it coincidence,
maybe?
I DON’T KNOW
All I know is
I AM different
I AM different
You ask, how do
I know? I know
I knew, since grade
5
I was shy, I was
scared, I was terrified
Some days lost,
some days alone, some days lonely
I kept it all in,
my secret, my dreams, and my desires
I waited, for a
time, when I could forgive myself, so YOU, could forgive me too
In few dark moments
of my existence, I found my calm, in knowing
I am made of love
too, I deserve joy too,
just like YOU &
YOU
I kept telling myself
it belongs to me, it’s my birthright too
Just like YOU &
YOU
All the LOVE, HAPPINESS,
& INNER PEACE
My lie was your truth,
I try to make you happy, so I could be sad
I tried and tried,
finding every day harder and harder to learn my own truth, not yours
To have the courage
to face it, to make you understand
I AM different
Is it my choice,
maybe?
Is it genetics,
maybe?
Is it circumstances,
maybe?
Is it coincidence,
maybe?
I DON’T KNOW
All I know is
I AM different
I AM different
One day, my eyes
couldn’t open, too much substance in my body,
Just another outlet
to escape from my reality,
Lying, in
guilt & confusion
Feeling absolute
disconnection from my surrounding, in this spec of time,
my mind racing,
with my heart beat, trying to catch up, trying to win
asking all kind
of questions, which were so hard to answer?
In the state of
numbness, my mind kept questioning
my soul, removing
one layer, after the other, which I spend building up all these years,
hiding from YOU
& YOU
After countless moments,
I finally made a connection within
Realizing, Reminding
myself
No more facades,
no more masks
I am as real as
YOU & YOU
I am as strong,
I am as kind, I am as HUMAN
As YOU & YOU
I live my strength,
I own my truth
MY TRUTH
Not mama and papas
Not what you saw
on TV, Media, newspapers, when you were growing up
Not what the society
preached, not what the pope said
Who were YOU, to
tell me I was wrong, make me stand outside, just because,
I was different
I AM different, Yes
I am,
Just because, I
don’t choose the same as YOU
Just because, I
dress brighter than YOU
Just because, I
desire what YOU are told not too
Yes, all this makes
me different, I know
I AM different
Yet, I am
breathing,
Yet, my heart is
beating,
Yet, I am contributing
Just like
YOU & YOU
It took me a long
time, to celebrate, to announce, this difference,
I AM different
I AM different
Its still gets a
bit hard, it still gets a bit painful, at times
Yet, I feel an air
of certainty,
As I accept myself,
as I love myself
For who I am, I
was & will be
Its my decision,
its my truth, not YOURS & YOURS
You can be part of
me, be with me,
You can accept me,
my world,
You can cherish
me, like me, value me
OR DON’T,
It doesn’t
matter,
less & less,
Seconds by seconds
As, now, I like who
I see in the mirror
As, now, I hear
who I really am
As, now, I feel
my uniqueness
As, now, I experience
my reality
YOU DO, OR DON’T
It’s your choice,
I choose mine,
I know,
I AM different
I AM different
This fact, doesn’t
make me cry, no more
I AM different
It’s who I am
I AM different
It’s how I want
to live my life
I am different
No one can take
this away, from me, no more
As, I am different
Yes, I am different
Contributing this poem to our wonderful gay community in Toronto
Strength of each
one of you makes this society wieldy, celebrating human individuality,
and evolving our city towards liberation and openness to diversity
For more information
and rates contact Lubna Kirvana at 416-822-1207 or e-mail at strivetoachieve2@hotmail.com
Our
Sponsor, SDKsupplies
